Baby Meditations

Last night, after we put the twins to bed (my son is at his grandma’s for the night) I sat on my giant yoga ball and communed with the baby.  I’ve heard of other mom’s doing this and actually asking the baby to flip or spin or begin the descent into the “real world” and I thought, hey, why not?

I’m apologizing ahead of time for the parentheses filled paragraphs that follow.  It’s 4:am, I’ve been up since 2:30 and this is literally how my brain is working.  Read them as mini-asides… if you know me you know that’s how I often talk (and often get off topic).  Can’t expect much more from such a middle-of-the-night post!

My husband fell asleep before 8:30 (not surprising as he’s been up well past midnight 2 nights in a row–doing nothing productive–and we get up by 7:00 with the kids) so I had the place to myself (aka, he would not mock me or give me odd looks and keep asking me what I was doing).  So I sat there, watching TV (I switched from Bones to The Office once I knew he was asleep, I’ve seen the entire office series more than once and it’s  a lot more pleasant than Bones for things like baby communing!), doing my Sudoku puzzle (I’ve been doing them every night as a wind-down) and rocking myself on the giant ball.  I was having contractions (no surprise, I am always having contractions!) and I took the moments when my belly tightened to close my eyes and ask the baby to move down.

My baby has been posterior on and off for the last few weeks (spine facing my spine instead of out toward my belly button–it makes for a much harder and more painful delivery as I learned first hand with my first delivery) so I did my “stretching”, I got on the bed on hands and knees then lowered myself onto my elbows, butt in the air.  I know, it’s a lovely image.  I find it kinda uncomfortable, my knees sink into the bed enough that the top of my belly rests on the bed pushing juuuuuuust enough to make me annoyed.  But it works!  Baby turns the “right” way for a while after each session so its worth it, I do not relish the idea of a posterior delivery with no option for pain medication (although, disclaimer here: my midwives will be able to help me manage the pain whereas the nurses at the hospital only gave vague suggestions.  Labor with no pain medication is what midwives DO but nurses only occasionally participate in, it makes a difference).  So I have been doing this pose for a few nights now while “talking” to the baby.  I don’t actually vocalize, after all the baby is inside me!  I think at the baby and hope that my mental telepathy will get him/her the right message.

After my butt-in-the-air time I sat on the ball and really closed my eyes and imagined the baby moving down.  I “talked” to the baby and rubbed baby’s back (through my skin, obviously) and told him/her it was okay to move down.  I pictured the head sinking lower into my pelvis.  I actually, SERIOUSLY visualized the painful part of delivery: the head and body crossing over into the real world and into my arms.  I “told” the baby how much I longed to hold them and nurse them.  I looked at the co-sleeper sitting next to me and pictured laying next to it with an arm wrapped around my sleeping new baby.

It was really nice.

I felt very connected to the baby and my body.  I have been working on practicing my focused breathing and turning my thoughts inward to my body during all my Braxton Hicks contractions.  I am hoping that I’ll be able to continue during real labor when the time comes.  In the meantime I’m just enjoying some alone time with my baby… cause as a mom of 3 kids 4 and under I know that these moments are and will continue to be few and far between!

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