Preterm Conception

I’m coining that phrase.  It is to describe a pregnancy that happens early… not the birth, the actual conception.  All three of my pregnancies were caused by conception dates earlier than I had planned…  they were wanted but they were all a surprise in their own way.

Pregnancy #1: We’d been living together for a little over a year and I’d known I wanted to marry my then-boyfriend from the day I met him (seriously, ask my roommate at the time, she’ll tell you!).  We found out we were pregnant three days before his appointment with the jeweler to design my engagement ring.  His comment, “The baby stole my thunder!”.  We moved our wedding date from December 30 to August 12 (we found out we were pregnant the middle of May).  I’d been planning to try for a baby pretty quick after we got married… I guess I got my wish!

Pregnancy #2: Our son was about to turn 2, we’d been living in our own home for over six months and were really feeling that all was right with the world.  We kept thinking how “old” our son had gotten (cause he knew how to talk, seriously, that was our prerequisite for “grown up” haha! we were so naive back then).  We decided to try for another.  We wanted to plan the birth for the following January or February so I could take the rest of the school year off (I’m a teacher).  We figured it’d take a few months so why not start trying the first few days of the New Year.  Oh, and let’s try for a girl… just practice at first, you know.  We got pregnant with twin girls on the first shot.  Be careful what you wish for 😉

Pregnancy #3: Still nursing my twins full-time (5-6 times a day), I’d gotten AF back after pumping for 3 months at school (stupid pumping, I might NEVER have gotten it back if it weren’t for that!).  That was in June.  I had four months… apparently my body thought that after the girls turned one I was ready again.  I was on the mini-pill… a very temperamental thing that, apparently, you should switch off of after 6 months of breast-feeding… yep, never knew that.  This baby is going to end up being about 3 years early.  Hows that for premature?

Pregnancy #4: Not happening.  I mean, that wouldn’t be premature that’d be… well I don’t know what we’d call that!  The snip-fest will be happening in July after a safe delivery of this little bean.  Three pregnancies is what I wanted when I started this journey and four kids is what I used to dream about!  So, everyone is happy, time to stop. 🙂 I just hope Mother Nature (nudged on by science) goes along with that plan!

Sometimes I wish I’d had the trying and waiting that others have had.  The monthly excitement, the fun of trying.  Then I realize that I almost exploded trying to wait just the 2 weeks from act to test and I don’t think it would have been fun for long.  From what I’ve heard from friends it just gets harder and more frustrating month after month and the fun kinda goes away pretty quickly.  Sometimes I wish I could have a neatly planned family, all organized the way I wanted… and then I realize that there is no way to plan a “perfect” family.  You can’t predict how your children will interact with one another. You can’t predict their personalities or even their needs (special or “normal”).  In short I think this way was the best way.  I can’t be disappointed that my plans didn’t turn out the way I expected.  I experienced a touch of that when I discovered I was carrying twins because I’d had this rosy vision of what having one more baby would be like and so was unprepared for the vision or reality of two at once.  I like the fact that my life has kinda taken control of itself and my husband and I are just along for the ride.  It leaves the world open to all kinds of new and exciting possibilities I’d never even thought existed for us.  I know there will be people who look at us and wonder what on earth we were thinking or do we even know where babies come from (yes, I’m aware down to the moment of ovulation and implantation, thanks for asking).   I guess, if they ever voiced these thoughts aloud, my response would be, We weren’t thinking but isn’t it marvelous?

Ha, maybe that’s what the midwife meant about my “Great Attitude” I really am feeling happy to just ride the waves of whatever life brings me.  I guess I can thank my frustration and disappointments that went along with the discovery of twins (and the realities of caring for twin newborns).  I had two choices: I could either ride those waves or be crushed by them. I chose to survive and ride.  See, Fate or Nature or whatever force governs our lives, knew what they were doing!  I didn’t plan to get this attitude but it’s going to make the rest of my life so much easier because right now, even though there are many who would consider my “predicament” completely insane–I’m totally in love with my life and, honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing.

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