the beginning of a new chapter

Ah the irony… I started a new blog-site right before I entered another phase of my life.

I have a handsome, smart almost 4 year-old son, beautiful, funny, inquisitive twin 1 year-old daughters and I just found out I’m pregnant.

Was this my plan?  No.  Did I want another baby? Yes, someday, like when the babies were at least e years-old!  Am I happy about this? No idea.  I mean, I’m happy that I get to have another baby, that was up in the air with my husband and I but I didn’t want to “get” one this way.

So, now, as my husband and I are in a really bad financial situation (can’t pay our bills for this month coming up and not much hope of more money coming in) I take a pregnancy test.  I had hoped it would come up negative and I’d feel dumb (I end up taking on almost every month because my period has been so odd since it came back after the twins) but relieved.  Those two pink lines popped up and I just stared at them in disbelief.  My three children were playing in the living room and I was sitting in the bathroom just staring at the test and then the box… then back to the test.  I’m still not sure I believe it.  I’ll probably take another this evening.

Mostly I don’t know how I’ll tell my husband.  He’ll be so incredibly stressed out by it… I just don’t want to worry him!  I’d rather have 2 daycare kids coming regularly, get some money back in the bank THEN tell him, but I don’t think I’ll have that option.

My head is still whirling.

I hope it’s a boy, that’d be nice.

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