Epiphanies

When my son was born I was lucky enough to be able to take off six months to stay home with him.  I’m a teacher and Punkin was born in February so I took off the rest of the school year and got to enjoy the summer home with my boy too.  When I got pregnant, very quickly, the second time  my due date was  September 24th… not great timing for a teacher.  Then we found out we were having twins and my due date went out the window, not many twins are born on or after their due date so even though my son was 15 days late I knew I couldn’t count on that with the second pregnancy!  (as an aside, the were born at 38 weeks 1 day via induction, had we not induced I’m pretty sure I’d have gone past my due date after all!)

My husband and I aren’t wealthy and being a stay at home mom wasn’t a financial option until we realized that we couldnt’ afford to send 3 kids to daycare even if I did work full-time.  We decided then and there that I’d have to take some time off, that the stress of both of us working just to pay for daycare wasn’t going to be worth it from any angle.  I took from September 10th (the Friday before the girls were born) to April 4th off from teaching.  It was financially hard but SOOOOOooooo worth it!  I cannot imagine going back to work after twins with only a 6 or 12 week leave.  Bless any one who does!

I worked for 11 weeks until the school year ended and then took the next year off.  It’s October of that year and I’m freaking out.  I love being home, really love it!  I cook, I clean, I garden, I craft.  I have applied to participate in 2 craft fairs, I’ve cleaned through the basement and had tag sales and sent things to consignment sales and am attempting to start a home daycare.  All in an effort to make money to help support my family while being home.  I’m working harder and more hours than I ever have before (this job is 24/7, we rarely get to sleep past 5:30… still!) but it’s still not enough.

I’m starting to freak out.

It doesn’t help that my husband was in a car accident two weeks ago.  He skidded his car on it’s side across the road and then landed back on all four wheels and crashed into a stone fence.  Miraculously he suffered only soreness for a couple of days (he had his seatbelt on!) and we still don’t know why he flipped in the first place but the accident meant we needed a new car.  We need a new car, a new furnace/water heater, a fence, a vacuum… too many things to count.  It’s getting scary with the money we dont’ have coming in.

But I realized something: I’m fine as long as I have my family.

Sounds cheesy, right?  It is but it’s also true.  We’re teetering on a financial edge right now, very little debt (other than the mortgage) but not quite enough money to pay our expenses.  All I need is one or two full-time kids in my daycare and we’d be coming out ahead each month–we’re that close!  I don’t really think we’ll lose the house but I’m looking at that as the worst-case-scenario: we’d be okay.  That was an epiphany, it took so much pressure and frustration off my shoulders.  I’m already doing everything I can to get my daycare business going and get ready for the craft fairs.  I’ve cut back our grocery bill (again) and we’re really being smart with what little money we’ve got.  The fact that it’s taking money to make money (changes to the property in order to become a licensed daycare) is frustrating but it’s FINE.  We’ll get back on top, I know we will, that was the second epiphany.

We’ll be fine as long as we’re together.

We’ll get back on top.

I love my family (that one wasn’t an epiphany, I always knew that!).

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